Here are some tips that I wish I'd known before starting IVF just to help with my anxiety and expectations during the process:
- There is no such thing as being able to plan the outcome of IVF or the timing for when you will do each phase of it. Be prepared for plans to change at a moment's notice and expect to have these things happen. The way your body responds to the medication may change your "usual" cycle to be very unpredictable.
- IVF is very expensive. There is a lot of unknowns, and they hit you right away such as all of the paperwork you will be forced to sign. You will be forced to make decisions about things you haven't even thought about yet, such as what you want to do with eggs or embryos that are deemed to be "no good" or tested negatively in genetic screening if you so choose to do this (I did but I am not this second time around). In our particular case, one round of IVF cost us a little over 20k, including a transfer, 4 rounds of medications for retrieval, transfers, and PGS testing to see if we had any abnormal chromosome embryos that should not be transferred. People aren't exaggerating when they say its expensive, so be prepared for that and try to have a plan in place before starting to minimize the stress over money.
- It is very important to track your cycle, monitor ovulation, cervical mucus, taking medications such as prenatals and other vitamins as suggested by your doctor. If you have added supplements on your own, stop taking anything other than what the doctor prescribed. This includes Chinese medicine.
- Cut down on alcohol, caffeine at least 90 days prior to starting IVF for the best chances (some recommend a sort of fertility cleanse, but I don't know that you have to get that extreme). It is suggested that some studies show improved odds when you also limit sugar/carbs and try to focus on whole foods and protein in your diet.
- Cut down on stress and plan for taking more time to yourself. I am still working very hard on this one. With a full-time (and then some) stressful job, I am not great at this one because my workday bleeds into making dinner which bleeds into more work some nights, and just no relaxation. You are going to be going to a lot of doctor's appointments, blood work appointments, and transvaginal ultrasounds. Try to make the best of it and plan backups at work and do not take on anything more than you have to when you are going through this process.
- As private as some are about these sort of things, it is good to have someone you can talk to about things other than your partner. Even if they are trying to be supportive, its hard for them to relate to what you are going through. They don't have the same emotional (and sometimes physical) changes that you are experiencing from the hormones. Therefore, it may help to bring in an outside perspective, such as a counselor. Look for a counselor that specializes in infertility specifically so they have the proper mindset to help you.
- Infertility will also strengthen or strain your relationships with friends and family around you. If you're like me, those that are in the position you want to be in will be tougher to relate to and spend time with. You will learn who is there for you and it may be painful to see that those that you thought were good friends or close family that would be there for you checking on you and supporting you emotionally do not show up as much as you expected them to. Learn to have little to no expectations from people.
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