We started discussing IVF with Shady Grove around December of 2016. I was completely excited to start this chapter now that my Fibroid Myomectomy surgery was over and I was cleared for trying again. I thought for sure this would be it for us.
First step was to determine where I was at from a fertility health standpoint so that they could determine whether or not I met the "guarantee program" requirements as well as where my particular case stood. We were scheduled for our intake mock embryo transfer and hysterosalpingogram (HSG) in March 2017. We made the 4 hour drive to MD as we have many times after this for my HSG in Rockville, MD. This procedure unfortunately was very painful this time around (I had done one before and it was not that bad), because it was determined that I had a blocked left tube. My first thought was anger, because I had a 6 cm Fibroid removed on that side during the myomectomy, so that was probably the cause of the blockage.
I left that appointment devastated, and headed to Frederick, MD for the mock transfer and to review the blood work with my new doctor. During the mock transfer, it was determined that my lining was sewed together, and I needed to get surgery to remove the scar tissue binding it together. I was bawling by the time we actually met the doctor to go over the blood work results at this point since literally nothing had gone as planned after all the pain and suffering the surgery had caused me I was no closer to where I wanted to be. Well the bad news continued, because my FSH was over 19 and my AMH was 0.3, so that meant that I also had low Ovarian reserve and would not produce a lot of eggs. The doctor felt that I would require higher medication doses as a result of this, in order to maximize the amount of eggs that would be retrieved.
I had to have surgery the following week for the scar tissue issue. As a result my first retrieval didn't happen until May. In order to do a retrieval, we had to order a lot of meds, and I was very very nervous about the injections because we had no class or any experience with doing this previously. I guess there are classes you can take, but our nurse made no mention of such things, so we were forced to watch injection videos on FreedomMedTeach, which were our saving grace through this not so fun process. You can find links for most injectables here: http://www.freedommedteach.com/eng/. I have ordered medications from Freedom Pharmacy, MDR Pharmacy thus far. According to my nurse, they are the cheapest and best companies to order from. I had downloaded "GoodRx" but she told me that they were not reliable to use for good quality medications.
The protocol for my first FET was less extreme since it was not yet known that I had a lining issue on top of the low AMH and high FSH diagnosis. I was prescribed 14 days of Birth Control (BC) pills, followed by Estrace 2mg tablets inserted vaginally twice a day. This did not get my lining above a 5.9, so the cycle had to be cancelled. The second time around, I decided to do the medications similar to a retrieval, because we discussed with the doctor and since my lining got to a 7 when we did our retrieval, we thought that perhaps my body preferred to just produce its own estrogen. This involved more Gonadotropin injections, as well as Cetrotide/Ganorelix injections and was a much more costly round of medication. Again, my lining would not get above a 6, so the doctor said we would have to cancel the FET. I was besides myself. What the hell is up with this lining of mine?! I had a breakdown at the doctors office, because we had driven all the way out to Shady Grove in MD for this appointment and taken the day off work. Since I had a few larger follicles that formed at this point, I asked about doing an IUI instead. Sadly the biggest follicle was on the side where I had a blocked tube, so that IUI inevitably failed.
Finally, for my third FET, I had been reading some podcasts on fertility (Dr. Jolene Brighten is a great resource, as well as "Creating a Family" podcast) and the pill and adrenals and other holistics to the point that I was confident enough to refuse to take birth control before my third attempted FET. This third time, I waited a little longer because of my refusal, I stopped drinking all alcohol and caffeine (which sucked) and consistently was doing acupuncture for at least an hour a week, as well as cupping and taking chinese herbs. I was prescribed Estrace 2mg tablets inserted vaginally twice a day, and Estradiol intramuscular injections every 3 days until the lining was thick enough to move onto the dreaded Progesterone in Oil supplements. Well this time I was even more anxious when i went for my Ultrasound/Lining check since the last two ended in disappointment. This time my lining was a 7.3! I was so excited!! The bloodwork also came back good (Estrogen and Progesterone), so we scheduled our FET for a week later, and I started the Progesterone shots two days after the Ultrasound. We got our time for transfer the day before, and headed down to Maryland excited for what the future could hold.
The day of my transfer, I was really excited and nervous. We got to the hotel before the appointment (we decided to stay in MD versus driving back since we didn't go until 4pm), so we checked in and put our stuff there so that I could just come back and relax afterwards. They say you can resume normal activity, but since it took us over 2 years just to get to the point where we knew we had a fertilized embryo baby being transferred for a chance of becoming pregnant, my husband was very protective of me and insisted I just lay down and do nothing that evening. The procedure was a little uncomfortable, and when we first went to start the transfer, it was determined that I apparently didn't drink enough water before the procedure (your bladder has to be full), so the nurses had to bring me another bottle of water to drink before they could do the procedure. They say that you have to drink an entire bottle of water 45 mins before the procedure, which I did, but apparently it was more like an hour for my body. I was a little embarassed that the doctor had to come back after my bladder was more full, but I tried not to let it stress me out. No big deal, I thought. So finally the doctor and nurses came back in after I guzzled down my water, and we had our embryo transferred. It was a little uncomfortable when they inserted the catheter and tube to transfer the embryo since it has to go all the way into your lining! But I was really hopeful and excited to be at that point. We were told we only had to lay there for 5 mins after they finished, but I think we sat there for more like 10-15 to "be safe." After we went back to the hotel, I called my parents and grandmother in excitement while my husband went to get me McDonalds fries, because I read something on one of the blogs on Pinterest about having them so I was convinced that it was a good idea, haha.
As much as I tried to keep busy and stay positive during the two week wait, having to do the daily Progesterone in Oil was a dreaded task and I bled every time the needle came out. The first week I ate my pineapple cores, made smoothies with it adding maca powder, tried to relax but also be realistic. My emotions were all over the place too, and I just felt so negative after the first week because I didn't think that I was still pregnant. My boobs hurt, but that was from the Progesterone injections. Everything I experienced were symptoms of the meds, so its a cruel thing to have to deal with knowning that you could very well still not be pregnant. I took a urine pregnancy test on day 11 and it was negative. It was the day before we had a family get together with babies and pregancies all around. I was devistated, but I tried to think maybe it was wrong, maybe it was too early. So I sat there during Christmas festivities, drinking water and hoping to get a bump like the others that were so lucky to be pregnant naturally. Unfortunately, on day 14 the blood test confirmed my fear, that there was no baby. The call was a blur followed by a breakdown for me. I was so angry, I couldn't keep going with these disappointments. I thought I did everything right this time. I'm still angry about it and its been 3 weeks now since that happened. I am taking this month off, and starting another round of IVF to get more embryos next month. I'm turning 35 in two months. There's only so much time that I can take off before I'm out of time :(
IVF Number 2:
I just got cleared for the start of IVF number 2 yesterday. We had a good night, but now I'm feeling down. Its tough on your relationship to say the least. Finally ovulated after 19 days of wondering if I was going to skip another month. Its weird what IVF does to your body and your freaking mind as a result. So I start the estrogen patches first, which starts approx 9 days from today. Then the next day I start Ganirelix (or sometimes Cetrotide, its really just dependent on the going rate and whose cheaper) for three consecutive mornings. There is a lot of emotion involved with getting an injection for me. I can't look at it, I can't do them, and I have a hard time not clenching my muscles before it goes in. Call me a wuss, but I just hate needles! So more to come soon...pray for us.
Day 1 of ovary preparations: I started my Vivelle patches today. They aren't anything crazy, just estrogen patches that you stick on your stomach. I've been all over the place emotions wise today. I decided to tell my boss what was going on to help with my stress over work and the process that is IVF uncertainty, and I'm glad I did. He was very understanding and agreed to step in and help me when I couldn't manage both work and IVF during treatment out of state. I think this makes me feel better, but the emotions it brought me to get the courage to have the conversation today got me all teary the rest of the day until I finally cried for no reason on the way home from work. And let the meds begin. Tomorrow is the first day of injections (Ganirelix).
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